He stepped out of the school bus into what seemed to be a new world. The idea of finally being in high school, of growing up, was an invigorating experience, especially considering what he came from... considering the past and the pain he was leaving behind.
The first couple of weeks could be described as nothing less than a blur of new places, new people, new smells, old ties, and the always fun feeling of becoming acclimated to a new mode of life. Aside from all the anxiety and angst, there was a prevailing wind of hope that provided an air of calm for him. But alas, successive weeks would prove this mode of life to be a reiteration of a life previously played out and put to rest, now merely spoken in a more complicated tongue. His wind of hope diminished to a breeze of anticipation until it was left, ultimately, as a heavy and uneasy fog of tension. 'Are things really different?' he thought to himself. He was cognizant of the things and people about him, yet, he was oblivious to the "who?" and the "what?" After all, nothing had changed, save this one thing... You see, there was this girl… a classmate of his. She walked into their sophomore World History class among the single file line of conformity invading the small room. At the time, every girl and boy could be described as one of a few popular culture stars. She was different. She was graceful, calm, collected… She was her own person in a world that attempted to imitate a select few. Amidst the masses, he saw her and everyone else disappeared. Day after day, she walked in and sat two seats removed from him. He bathed in the saccharine light that exuded from her person. Such beauty in his life, in the world he knew, was simply unheard of. She was flawless. She was perfect. He had heard people describe the phenomenon known as “Love at First Sight,” but he never thought it happened in the real world. It was made of the stuff fairy tales were made of. It was made of happiness; a thing foreign to his heart.
But he saw her. In that instance, he knew the definition of true and untainted Beauty. It was a definition that Webster could never devise, nor any word ever describe. She was Beauty. Beauty was her.
A question was posed by the instructor. A number of pupils raised their hands, one of which was hers. She spoke. He listened. In a second instance, he knew that she was an intellectual, that she was intelligent and articulate. He also couldn’t help but think that Heaven’s Choir must have been missing an Angel, for the sound of her voice echoed throughout his skull and imprinted upon his mind. Her voice was intoxicating… he was inebriated… drunk in the sound of pure delight. Somehow, he knew that she was going to be important to him. He just knew.
He was drawn to her. But how does one approach something so perfect? Everything he had dreamed of sat only two seats from him. Of course she was already taken, and who was he to impose upon that? But he was still drawn. How does one deny the compulsions of one’s mind, especially when they agree with the desires of one’s heart?
At long last, an opportunity arose in which each student was to choose a partner for a group project. He found her, she found him. And thus, a great friendship was born.
Incidentally, they were both enrolled in PreAP Chemistry together. With a particularly difficult mid-term on the horizon, she made an inquiry as to whether or not he and another friend might like to hold a study session at her house. He was only a small town boy. He had never had friends that he “did” things with. He was hesitant… reluctant… but she was there. Thus, the trio was born. Over the course of the year, they held many more study sessions and did extremely well in their class.
Junior and Senior Year…
Registration started for Junior Year. He knew that he had to take AP Chemistry… The original plan had been to put it off until senior year. But she was in it. Not only would it be beneficial to them to take it together, but he would also be able to spend more time with her. After all, she was his closest friend.
As the Wrath of Palmer, the infamous AP Chemistry teacher, ensued, the three began to rely on one another and help one another. They would meet hours before school would start, studying Chemistry, English, Pre-Calculus, and whatever else needed to be done. Almost every morning, they were the definition of “Above and Beyond.” Those around them took note of their actions. They only recognized the bond between them. The three were so very alike. They were all best friends. With the advent of AP Chemistry came the birth of the Breakfast Club.
Everyone saw them as an inseparable trio. A nickname (originally intended as an insult) began trickling through their associated circles of friends that was eventually scribbled in various places across their backpacks. Though they weren’t all that each other had, they knew that the others were always there.
He was always closer to her, though. She would share with him more than she shared with most. She looked at him as her Best Friend, as did he her. Though, there was always something there. He wasn’t just drawn to her… It was as if they were magnetized, as if a force as obvious and unyielding as gravity was acting upon them. Through tough times, he tried to be her shoulder, her support… he tried to be there for her whenever she was in need, and when she wasn’t. She was always the best of friends, even when friends were in short supply.
***In this section, there are a few details that are omitted. Some because they just can’t be said…***
College
May 22/23 or June 6, 2007-Present
Brought together at long last, this begins our tale… The tale of a boy and a girl brought together by fate whose destinies, as they discover, may very well be one another…
“You value my promises, so this I promise you: I will be yours and yours alone for as long as you will have me, and longer. I will be everything that you have ever wanted. I will be your partner, your teammate, your shoulder to lean on even when it’s not needed… I will walk boldly and proudly by your side… Hand in hand… This I promise, hoping that you know how I need you… I am yours, my Love… The question is; will you let yourself be MY everything?”
“I think it is so awesome; that when I close my eyes, yours is the face I see… that before I fall asleep at night, your name is the last dancing on my lips… that whilst I sleep, your Angelic Beauty is carried with me to the land where dreams are born and realized… that you are the first person I think of when I am allowed one more day to wander these plains… that no what anyone tells us, dreams do come true… But what I think would be most awesome; If I could be the one to make your dreams come true… If I could always be your fairy-tale prince, your Brad Paisley-Alan Jackson-George Straight-Garth Brooks Love song, your camping buddy, the one to read you to sleep, keep you safe and warm at night. If I could be yours without question or doubt… Maybe that is a dream in and of itself… But I believe in dreams… Just like I believe in fairy-tales, country songs, true Love… Just like I believe in us… I can’t tell you how much I miss you Baby… How empty I feel… How it very nearly brings me to my knees knowing that we have to be apart… I want you the way you want my. I need you when you’re not with me, I miss you when you leave the room… But I Love you always… Have fun Baby…”
“I am yours… I am yours without doubt or question… Without reserve or hesitation… I am yours and yours alone… As long as I am able to breath, as long as I am able to persist, I will not stop at anything short of your happiness, for you are the very essence of my being… You are the breath that fills my lungs and the spark that urges my heart to persevere… I am yours… ALL yours, my Love”
“So, I saw Audra Mead today… ‘hey, are you with Miranda???’ ‘Yes ma’am… why do you ask?’ ‘Oh, well, I keep seeing pics of you two on facebook… I didn’t know if y’all were still really good friends or…’ ‘She’s my best friend, actually’ ‘Yeah? That’s awesome! Y’all are really good for each other’ ‘Yeah… She’s the best thing that ever happened to me…’ and you are… End o’story”
“Thank you for calling me… Your voice always makes me feel so much better… You know, I was thinking about it today… about how you used to say that you wished that you could find someone that would Love you forever and never change their mind… I remember that I used to think to myself, ‘I’m right here… I always have been… I will always Love you…’ I will… I promised you that I would be yours for as long as you would have me and longer… Longer because I will never change my mind about you… You are everything to me, and I will be the one to Love you far past the grey hair and the handicapped parking… My Love for you will defy time, continuing on to eternity… Even if you change your mind… I will always be yours… I Love you… Always…”
“His heart does sing a tale wrought with lament and sorrowful woe. Such a take is derived of only one source… Seemingly insignificant and diminutive to the passerby, the pain rages in silence… The only audible sound is that of his breaking heart… For a heart without its soul can produce only a throbbing pain, its reminder: it is a heart apart… I Love you Baby. I miss you… L”
“You know, sometimes, when I feel utterly alone, I close my eyes and think the most pure, honest and true thoughts that I can muster… Every memory that I have with you, every second I’ve spent with you, every syllable that has ever graced your lips, everything that we are… It makes the loneliness fade until all that is left is you and me… Because that is all that matters to me… Just you and me”
“Good morning my Love… Today is the day! But for what, you might ask… Today is the day in whose morning you rose, in whose sunlight you will dance, in whose winds you will sing, on whose ground you will pray, and in whose night you will dream… But most importantly, today is another day that I will Love you, passionately, without regard to limits or conditions… Wholly and fully, with all my heart…”
What do I want?
“I have you… What more could I ever ask for? The things that I want are not so very far removed from the things that you want… I want to be yours forever… And I will be… I pray that I can one day be an awesome father to the children I hope to have with you… I wish for a family of my own… of our own… I want to stay up Christmas nights playing St. Nick. I want to be the man that makes you happy for all time… I want to make you feel like the most Beautiful person in the world… I want to take care or you when you are sick… I want to sit in front of our fireplace on cold winter nights, wrapped up in each other… I want to stare at a million sunsets, night skies, and sunrises with you… I want to travel the world with you… Just you, me, a tent, my car, and our camping equipment. I want to go to country music concerts in matching outfits… I want to sit/stand/worship by your side every Sunday knowing how my God has blessed me… with you… I want to try to control our kids [at mass]… I want them to walk up to the alter with an offering, to see the [father] smile graciously at them as I turn to look at you and smile proudly… I want a million more things for us, but all that I really want, the only thing that I need to be happy… is you… I want to face eternity by your side… I want to be everything that you ever want and need… I want to be your best friend forever… and I never want your passion to fade… I love you so much Baby… Hope I wasn’t too honest. My fear”
“How do you always know the things that I… You are so amazing… I think about it often… And I promised, even swore to myself that I would take care of you no matter what… That I would succeed… That we wouldn’t have to worry about the next paycheck… ever… You have no idea how much your words mean to me! I Love you… I am yours Forever… Hopelessly, irrevocably, unconditionally devoted to you… Only you… Eternally you… I Love you so much…”
“It’s times like these, when I see and hear you cry, when I can feel your tears fall like boulders on my heart, when I can feel every beat of your heart as it pulses with the pain of betrayal… It’s times like this that push me even harder to be the best of everything that you’ve ever had… The best friend, the strongest shoulder, the quickest hand to haul you up before you fall down, the safest place, your very own shelter from the tempest that Life can be… The best man… The best Love… I Love you Miranda… More than Life itself… You know, you are my Life… That which makes you feel anything less than total and complete happiness is a thing that I feel to be an attack on my person… My Life’s great goal is to make you completely and utterly happy… I Love you… You know this already, but I am going to say it anyway… When it feels like the world and everyone in it has turned its back on you, when friends and shoulders are in short supply, when words aren’t enough, when everything grows cold, when you need me… I am right here… Anxious to be the one to wrap you up in my arms and let the world and its worrisome woes pass is by… I told you that I will fight for us, until the end… That is also the way I feel about seeing you smile, laugh… That’s how I feel about making you happy… You and Me… Forever and always… I Love you”
“Just in case you were wondering, just in case you didn’t know, just in case my actions do not show, just in case, I would like to tell you that you are the most important thing in this world, you are the most Beautiful person that I know… Just in case you didn’t know… I Love you with a Love that is pure, untainted, unbreakable, undeniable, and unconditional… It is a Love that does not Love simply when it is convenient, a Love that does not have an expiration date… It is Love, eternal and infinite in its capacity… At times, it may be all that I have to give… Hopefully you can find solace in the fact that I will never stop giving it, when you need it, and when you don’t… Hopefully… Hopefully now you know, but just in case you don’t, I Love you… Now and forevermore… Forever and Always yours, SamyB… AKA Edward ;-)”
You are all that I want, all that I’ll ever need… You are my life… and of all the things that I find to be thankful for this year, I am most thankful for you… You are My Love… My Life… My Everything… and I am yours… Forever…
I Love you my Sweet, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Perfect Angel... With all of my heart and soul...
SaMir
