Unconditionally Devoted...

Happiness

2010-05-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

She is my absolute happiness. She is my every hope for the future, the very essence of my being... She is what dreams are made of... She is my dream. I Love her and I am in Love with her.

My Beautiful Miranda... I Love you with all that I am, and all that I will be. You are my everything. You are my World... I Love you...

An unruly silence...

2010-05-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

I want to write about something. I want to speak my heart in ways that will touch you in such a profound way that it will change your life. I want my speech to be eloquent as well as relative. You know, it's just not coming to me. My heart is a closed vessel that has room for only one... My heart is occupied. How do you know what the world is like when you spend all your days trapped in a self-concocted cocoon, "living" in a dream world where everyone is out to sabotage you? How can you go on telling yourself that you're fine when I can see that you aren't? Please, get out! The world is waiting for you. Please, GET OUT! The world is calling for you! Take hold of your life and live! Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us by God... The only guarantee that we have from God is that He will be here or there wherever we fall, wherever we falter or stumble. The only guarantee that we have is that we are alive only for a moment. Our lives are simply an arrangement of moments strung together in an intricate web that create a past and the illusion of a future when the truth is this: Tomorrow will never come because today is all we have and yesterday is gone. C'mon, I'm not nuts here! Today cannot be tomorrow, nor tomorrow today. We must embrace the life we are given. I want to see it all. There is an entire world out there, and it is screaming my name! I want to take my prize. I want to capture my moments and weave my web the way it should be woven. We are all destined for great things. Not one of us is a mistake. I wish that we could all know why it is that we are placed here among the rocks, among the trees and stars... below the bold blue sky. I wish we could all know His future for us before we are all tainted and tarnished by the rancidness of societal pressures that pollute and corrupt our minds. A lot of times, I wish I could be different. I wish that I had the "clean slate" that I was born with, but... I don't. I can't. All that I can do is

Pray

I wish I could write my heart on this page... The feeling accompanying each beat transcribed in an even flow of prose not corrupted by thought, but rather, pure, untainted, untapped. A concentrated emotion seeping from the depths of that same heart... Instead, a hollow and heavy thud, thud, thud... I feel... like a convoluted enigma... A riddle with no foreseeable answer. I wish that I could name the entity slumbering in the yawning depths of my sanity, speaking seeds of doubt to my soul. It slumbers, but is not dormant. The infinite suppressor. The unfailing darkness... try though I might to rid myself of him... to vanquish him from my everything, his roots find berth at moments notice. Unpredictable and unanticipated, the roots of this... evil... this calculating and devious beast, break through with unfathomable success, leaping forth from the chasm he calls home. I like to think he is confined there... incarcerated with no hope of release... but this is his playground. He attacks when my higher nature falters, extending whips of malevolence and iniquity to those surrounding me... to those I hold most dear. My wife, my mothers, my sisters and brother... Casting a veil of silence forth, anchored by leaden weights at my feet, disallowing my true condition to be known... Pride is the fiddle that he plays... an unfortunate weakness that I possess, accompanied by the steady rhythm of temptation, also another of my human failings.

He toys with my lethargy, my complacency... an art mastered on weak minds... on fear.

His cunning succeeded by One.

Lord, Jesus Christ! Please give me your unquenchable fire to eradicate irrevocably this slumbering, maniacal being living within my soul. He is part of me. A part hopelessly attached. Help me to banish these thoughts and emotions that find course in my veins...

What I want, what I need, I wish I were strong enough to surrender to You, Lord. Human frailty is found in the extent of ones faith... Or perhaps the extent of ones faith is tested by the conditions of human frailty. I do not excuse my life, for it has purpose in Your Kingdom. A life not worth living is a life void of purpose. I do not feel worthy.

I am a sinner. I am not worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. I am not the Christian that I wish to be... I find no comfort in those that are.

Lord, Jesus... I wish to be free as my Love is free... I wish to Love as she Loves. I wish to Live as you would have me Live...

This is my prayer...

Please hear me.

34

2009-03-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have 34 days until I become another's. I have 34 days until I arrive... You see, I believe that God has made a very special place for me here on Earth. He has written in His scrolls a description of the life that I will lead and the man that I will become. He has even written my name in the heart of someone very special to me. He has answered the only prayer I ever wished for Him to truly answer. I am Loved. I am so Loved. I am Loved by a generous, caring, and forgiving God... and I am Loved by... my Love... my Miranda.

I am Hers... She is mine.

I Love no other now, nor ever shall I.

34 days... I can do this. I just can't wait to see her coming down the aisle in her beautiful dress, the very image of perfection, tears of complete and utter Happiness and Joy streaming down her face... I can't wait to profess my Love for her before all those that we care for... I cannot wait to be Her husband... I just hope that I can be the Man she has always dreamed of... for the rest of Forever.

I Love her.

That's all.
and everything

The Fall...

2008-07-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

Rain… Standing beneath a myriad of droplets doomed to seep into the body of the earth, cleansing it, washing it… purifying it… Likewise, I stand, raindrops dancing down my forehead, making their way down my face, neck, and chest… Raindrops that take with them the filth of the day. I believe rain to be one of Earth’s most sexy attributes. Do not be played by foul assumptions, however. In my mind’s eye, the word “sexy” is easily replaced by such words as “attractive” or “beautiful.”

Truly, this is my irony in rain. Some consider themselves fortunate when not caught by the rain. Instead, they watch, comfortably nestled within the shelter of their homes, cars, restaurants, et cetera. Others, when caught, try with all their might to avoid it by seeking shelter. Why can we not bask in the resplendent pleasure found in just being? It seems, today, as if we are always trying to run… always hiding from something. I know because… I was hiding…

For as long as I can remember, no one thought I was capable of feeling. I "cut myself off from the rest of the world," effectively being labeled as something of a "loner." They said I was cold, I was distant. They said I was alone… I find it funny how we sometimes live up to the musings of others. If nothing else, I felt too much. If nothing else, I just couldn't relate to anyone. They said I was cold… I was aching for warmth… They said I was distant… I was closer and more Loyal to them than most… They said I was alone… I was just… lonely.

They said I was Godless… I was searching…

It’s nothing new. Everyone judges just as everyone is judged. Call it a fact of life, if you will. It is human nature to operate based upon preconceived notions that outline the imperfections and defects of others. Aside from being “human nature,” it is also so much easier. When one finds a means by which the focus of the scope is misdirected, turned, and angled away from the self, he or she can become a vicious, malicious, spiteful person.

As a society, we are much more proficient in identifying the faults of others because we do not want to admit that we, ourselves, are inherently flawed. Why? We are not flawed because Eve succumbed to the coercion of the serpent. No, we are flawed because we choose to be. God chose to give us free will… Just look what we’ve done with such a Beautiful and Powerful gift. We’ve destroyed countries and continents, families, lives, entire peoples… For what? Why? Is there a reason? Is it all just nonsense? No… If nothing else, these mistakes were allowed to be made so that we could learn to become more Christ-like; Love freely and give of thyself fully… That’s what it is all about.

But no more do we allow ourselves to enjoy such natural splendors. No more do we even allow ourselves to cry. A wise person once told me that fallen tears cleanse the soul. A tear held internal causes grief, confusion, worry, strife… When we disallow ourselves the God-given ability to feel, the what have we become? Have we become so monotonous in our daily lives that we have no time to feel, show compassion or empathy? Has it become so that when others are in need, we are to call someone to help or simply pretend that there isn’t an outstretched hand reaching for us. I’ve cried more in the last two years than I have in my entire Life… and it is Liberating, Invigorating, and Energizing. There is no shame in feeling… There should be shame in being callous, pitiless, and hard… There should be shame in the unwillingness to share in the plight of mankind. After all, we are all in this together.

You know, I cannot begin to describe to you what it is like to be lost, nor ever will I be lost again. What I can say is that, once found, your life is changed immediately. The change is so profound and instantly evident. Without her, I might very well be still immersed in darkness… Without her, I don’t know where I would be…

It all started in Tenth grade… If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you already know the story. However, in summation, it would suffice to say that from the very instant that I saw her, I was taken. I was drawn to her… Everything about her… It was like an intense magnetism… Like gravity itself was acting on me. Somehow, I knew. She was (is and will always be) the One.

I was set on a path that I had to travel alone. I had no idea how to begin, where to start, or what exactly I was looking for… Those of you who have had Christ your entire lives may not know of what I speak. For those of you who haven’t, you know the Beauty in the Life, in the change, in the undying sense of Hope and Faith and Ecstasy that runs rampant through your veins when He tells that He Loves you… When you realize that He has always been there… When you realize that it wasn’t you that was looking for Him, but rather, it was He, calling your name in the distance, trying to tell you how to get to Him through the chaos that is the world… It was Jesus that sought me out. It was Jesus that found me. All I had to do was be still…

and listen.

I am Forever indebted to her for opening my eyes and to my good friend, Celi, for whispering courage into my ear when the cold darkness seemed to overtake the bright beacon of Hope.

In finding Jesus, I found myself. In finding myself, I began to hate everything that I had been. But I couldn’t be the person I am now without first having been the person I used to be. As it goes, Today is the child of Yesterday, and Tomorrow could not be without today…

I am not ashamed of the person I was, nor am I ashamed of the mistakes my past has brought me. Had I learned nothing from the past, perhaps I would be… But there is no shame in having a past from which you learn valuable life lessons… Everyone has a past… We just have to learn to let go of it, LIVE in the here and now, and look on to a bold, bright, and Beautiful future…

I’ve let go of my past, fallen in Love with Life and the most Amazing woman in the world, and I can’t wait for my future…

I don’t know why I typed this… Just something I was feeling, I guess…

I Love you Miranda… Thank you so much…

Thank you God for Her, my Family, and my Life…

Thank you Jesus for my Salvation…

And Thank you, whoever you are, for reading this... God Bless

~SamyB

How can I...

2008-07-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

I just don't know...

I've done everything that I can think of to show them, but they just can't see it... I've tried and tried and tried, but it doesn't work... They are still incredulous, they are still ill at ease... I just don't know what I can do... I know I can do it, I just don't know what they expect of me... I want to be frustrated, but I feel, rather, that I have let them down. I feel like I have disappointed them... and her... I just don't know... I look at everything that I was, everything I now hate about myself, everything that used to be... I look at it, and I know that I have overcome it. I have completely re-vamped my life. I have made a 175 degree turn from where I was 3.5 years ago. There are a spare 5 degrees to leave room for that which I am currently working on... Maybe you don't know, maybe you do... I am not a bad person. I have motivation, drive, ambition. I like to get my hands dirty if it means that someone else doesn't have to work so hard... I look at Life, see what I want, and I go for it... and I am so good to her... She is my Everything, and yet, they see nothing. I am not mad, nor am I frustrated... I am disappointed. I am trying so desperately to correct all of my faults, but do they know? Do they see?
I feel some deja-vu right now... How can I make them see? How can I show them that my heart, as well as my intentions are nothing but the best? How do I do it? I don't know... I may never know...

But, then again, I'll NEVER give up...

I Love her too much...

For her, I'd do anything...

All I can do is Hope and Pray that they find me suitable and worthy of her...

I Love her.

There is this... a tricky little something...

2008-01-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

There is this… a tricky little trinket of a fanciful imagination unbridled and unbound by the strict code of conduct and often demeaning demeanor of an always relative reality... Pragmatic and practical, though it might seem, the truths, certainties, and veracity born of reality are composed of a series of untruths, uncertainties, and utter disingenuousness. The edifice of humanity was not erected with what is as its foundation. Rather, humanity’s purpose is to discover what could be… to ascertain and discern individual truth as it pertains to the one and only universal truth…

However, there is this… This one little trinket that I have and will further continue to dedicate my life to… It is a simple, four letter word… It is the source from which all my truths are derived… It is the spring from which my happiness flows… and its origin is… her…

Reality does not seem so real anymore. Eight months ago, all that I could see were closed and locked doors… But now, as I sit here typing, I cannot see the walls that supported the doors in the first place… My mind is not clouded by what is. It is filled with hope, anticipation, excitement, eagerness, and passion for the things that can be… for the things that will be...

To approach my meaning from a different path, one could say that… I Live dreams… Perhaps, to further elucidate my seemingly senseless musings, I should explain.

For a number of years now, on every falling star on every starry night, my hope, my wish, my prayer was the same… I asked for only one thing… her.

“God, I know you don’t always hear from me, and I know we ask a lot of you, but she is the only person that I have ever felt anything for. From the first moment that I saw her, I was hers’. There is no question, no deliberation. She is the one. Only you can see into my heart and soul and know the truths within. But when she looks at me, I can feel her burning, amber eyes looking at me... inside of me... God, I Love her. I will never ask anything of you for myself if I can just have this one thing. Please…” (Not verbatim, mind you… this is the abridged version.)

On every successive falling star, I would stare into the sky and think, or say aloud, “God, you know what I want…” thinking only of her… Even if accompanied by a friend... "What are you doing?" "I'm making a wish, and no, I can't tell you!" "Sorry, you just haven't moved for the past three minutes... just wanted to see if you were still alive..." ;-)

For the longest time, I thought that I would never experience true and uninhibited Love… “Why?” became my most frequently asked question… Why could I not let go of her? Why did every road always lead to her? Why was she the benchmark against which all other girls were compared? Why did I see her face on every girl that passed by? Why?

My reality was a nightmare, but my dreams were my saving grace… Internal conflict was all that I had come to know. Then, one day, I realized what I had become… and I also realized that my wish should not have been, “All I want in this world is her,” but rather, “All I want in this world is for her to be happy…”

What do you do in that instant when you realize that the very thing you have wanted for so long is far more important to you than your own happiness…
As the old adage states, “If you Love something, just let it go…”

I accepted the reality of the situation… But I never let go of the dream…

The reality: She was my best friend and I would always be there for her… no matter what…

The Dream: She was mine. My girlfriend, my best friend, and I would always be there for her… no matter what…

The Wish: “God, you know what I want…”

We remained great friends through it all… Then one day, May 16, 2007, a spark of hope filled my body with fire, reawakening a passion that lay dormant for so long… an anonymous note to people she knew...

“While we've had more than our share of ups and downs, I am so glad we've gone through what we have together. I think without all that, you wouldn't know me as well as you do- and I must say, I've shared more with you than most - and I wouldn't know you to be the person you are. Honestly, I sometimes catch myself thinking about what it'd be like if we could've worked it out. I almost wish we would have- but then again, maybe we're just too different. I've been dreaming about you lately. Kind of the same theme in all of my dreams. It makes me think about you a lot. I miss us hanging out, our talks. You intrigue me, and I sometimes find myself wishing I could call you anytime and not feel that I'm bothering you.You really don't know how much I respect and look up to you. Do you still feel the same? I wish we could just talk. That's all I want, maybe more if the chance came again. But that's all in the past and I blame myself.”

On May 27, 2007, I told my best friend that I still felt the same about her, but that I would always be her best friend, before I was anything else and that if we were going to do anything, we were going to do it right through communication and compromise… On June 6, 2007, I kissed her… I kissed my best friend, and she kissed me back… On October 3, 2007, I told her that I love her… and she said it… right back… I Love her with all of my heart and soul... Now there is only one thing left... The journey continues

Every path I’ve ever walked down, since the day I met her, has led me to her… Sometimes, we are struck by the clarity provided to us by hind-sight bias… It is always 20/20… I did not understand so many things along my journey to this point… But because of everything that we have been through together, I know we will make it. The really clever thing, though, is God’s plan… Had we been a couple in high school, would we be anytihing close to what we are now? Would we be better or worse? Honestly… I don’t care about what might have been… My life is in His hands, and I trust his reigns to lead me to where I am supposed to be... I believe, with blind and utter certainty, that whatever road He leads me down, she will be there with me, and I with her... I am, however, constantly looking forward to everything that can and might be, while treasuring every second of every moment of everything that is.

The key to the success of any relationship is an unrelenting devotion (on the part of both parties) to three things:

1.) Communication
2.) Compromise
3.) Participation

The key to success in life… Just read “How To: Life,” otherwise known as The Bible… ;-)

Well, thank you for reading this… just felt like writing something… not surprising that it turned out to be about my one, true Love… being that I think of her most of my day…

Have a great day…
SamyB

An Indestructible Love...

2007-11-20T11:28:00.000-08:00

Sophomore Year…

He stepped out of the school bus into what seemed to be a new world. The idea of finally being in high school, of growing up, was an invigorating experience, especially considering what he came from... considering the past and the pain he was leaving behind.

The first couple of weeks could be described as nothing less than a blur of new places, new people, new smells, old ties, and the always fun feeling of becoming acclimated to a new mode of life. Aside from all the anxiety and angst, there was a prevailing wind of hope that provided an air of calm for him. But alas, successive weeks would prove this mode of life to be a reiteration of a life previously played out and put to rest, now merely spoken in a more complicated tongue. His wind of hope diminished to a breeze of anticipation until it was left, ultimately, as a heavy and uneasy fog of tension. 'Are things really different?' he thought to himself. He was cognizant of the things and people about him, yet, he was oblivious to the "who?" and the "what?" After all, nothing had changed, save this one thing... You see, there was this girl… a classmate of his. She walked into their sophomore World History class among the single file line of conformity invading the small room. At the time, every girl and boy could be described as one of a few popular culture stars. She was different. She was graceful, calm, collected… She was her own person in a world that attempted to imitate a select few. Amidst the masses, he saw her and everyone else disappeared. Day after day, she walked in and sat two seats removed from him. He bathed in the saccharine light that exuded from her person. Such beauty in his life, in the world he knew, was simply unheard of. She was flawless. She was perfect. He had heard people describe the phenomenon known as “Love at First Sight,” but he never thought it happened in the real world. It was made of the stuff fairy tales were made of. It was made of happiness; a thing foreign to his heart.

But he saw her. In that instance, he knew the definition of true and untainted Beauty. It was a definition that Webster could never devise, nor any word ever describe. She was Beauty. Beauty was her.

A question was posed by the instructor. A number of pupils raised their hands, one of which was hers. She spoke. He listened. In a second instance, he knew that she was an intellectual, that she was intelligent and articulate. He also couldn’t help but think that Heaven’s Choir must have been missing an Angel, for the sound of her voice echoed throughout his skull and imprinted upon his mind. Her voice was intoxicating… he was inebriated… drunk in the sound of pure delight. Somehow, he knew that she was going to be important to him. He just knew.

He was drawn to her. But how does one approach something so perfect? Everything he had dreamed of sat only two seats from him. Of course she was already taken, and who was he to impose upon that? But he was still drawn. How does one deny the compulsions of one’s mind, especially when they agree with the desires of one’s heart?

At long last, an opportunity arose in which each student was to choose a partner for a group project. He found her, she found him. And thus, a great friendship was born.

Incidentally, they were both enrolled in PreAP Chemistry together. With a particularly difficult mid-term on the horizon, she made an inquiry as to whether or not he and another friend might like to hold a study session at her house. He was only a small town boy. He had never had friends that he “did” things with. He was hesitant… reluctant… but she was there. Thus, the trio was born. Over the course of the year, they held many more study sessions and did extremely well in their class.

Junior and Senior Year…

Registration started for Junior Year. He knew that he had to take AP Chemistry… The original plan had been to put it off until senior year. But she was in it. Not only would it be beneficial to them to take it together, but he would also be able to spend more time with her. After all, she was his closest friend.

As the Wrath of Palmer, the infamous AP Chemistry teacher, ensued, the three began to rely on one another and help one another. They would meet hours before school would start, studying Chemistry, English, Pre-Calculus, and whatever else needed to be done. Almost every morning, they were the definition of “Above and Beyond.” Those around them took note of their actions. They only recognized the bond between them. The three were so very alike. They were all best friends. With the advent of AP Chemistry came the birth of the Breakfast Club.

Everyone saw them as an inseparable trio. A nickname (originally intended as an insult) began trickling through their associated circles of friends that was eventually scribbled in various places across their backpacks. Though they weren’t all that each other had, they knew that the others were always there.

He was always closer to her, though. She would share with him more than she shared with most. She looked at him as her Best Friend, as did he her. Though, there was always something there. He wasn’t just drawn to her… It was as if they were magnetized, as if a force as obvious and unyielding as gravity was acting upon them. Through tough times, he tried to be her shoulder, her support… he tried to be there for her whenever she was in need, and when she wasn’t. She was always the best of friends, even when friends were in short supply.

***In this section, there are a few details that are omitted. Some because they just can’t be said…***

College

May 22/23 or June 6, 2007-Present

Brought together at long last, this begins our tale… The tale of a boy and a girl brought together by fate whose destinies, as they discover, may very well be one another…

“You value my promises, so this I promise you: I will be yours and yours alone for as long as you will have me, and longer. I will be everything that you have ever wanted. I will be your partner, your teammate, your shoulder to lean on even when it’s not needed… I will walk boldly and proudly by your side… Hand in hand… This I promise, hoping that you know how I need you… I am yours, my Love… The question is; will you let yourself be MY everything?”

“I think it is so awesome; that when I close my eyes, yours is the face I see… that before I fall asleep at night, your name is the last dancing on my lips… that whilst I sleep, your Angelic Beauty is carried with me to the land where dreams are born and realized… that you are the first person I think of when I am allowed one more day to wander these plains… that no what anyone tells us, dreams do come true… But what I think would be most awesome; If I could be the one to make your dreams come true… If I could always be your fairy-tale prince, your Brad Paisley-Alan Jackson-George Straight-Garth Brooks Love song, your camping buddy, the one to read you to sleep, keep you safe and warm at night. If I could be yours without question or doubt… Maybe that is a dream in and of itself… But I believe in dreams… Just like I believe in fairy-tales, country songs, true Love… Just like I believe in us… I can’t tell you how much I miss you Baby… How empty I feel… How it very nearly brings me to my knees knowing that we have to be apart… I want you the way you want my. I need you when you’re not with me, I miss you when you leave the room… But I Love you always… Have fun Baby…”

“I am yours… I am yours without doubt or question… Without reserve or hesitation… I am yours and yours alone… As long as I am able to breath, as long as I am able to persist, I will not stop at anything short of your happiness, for you are the very essence of my being… You are the breath that fills my lungs and the spark that urges my heart to persevere… I am yours… ALL yours, my Love”

“So, I saw Audra Mead today… ‘hey, are you with Miranda???’ ‘Yes ma’am… why do you ask?’ ‘Oh, well, I keep seeing pics of you two on facebook… I didn’t know if y’all were still really good friends or…’ ‘She’s my best friend, actually’ ‘Yeah? That’s awesome! Y’all are really good for each other’ ‘Yeah… She’s the best thing that ever happened to me…’ and you are… End o’story”

“Thank you for calling me… Your voice always makes me feel so much better… You know, I was thinking about it today… about how you used to say that you wished that you could find someone that would Love you forever and never change their mind… I remember that I used to think to myself, ‘I’m right here… I always have been… I will always Love you…’ I will… I promised you that I would be yours for as long as you would have me and longer… Longer because I will never change my mind about you… You are everything to me, and I will be the one to Love you far past the grey hair and the handicapped parking… My Love for you will defy time, continuing on to eternity… Even if you change your mind… I will always be yours… I Love you… Always…”

“His heart does sing a tale wrought with lament and sorrowful woe. Such a take is derived of only one source… Seemingly insignificant and diminutive to the passerby, the pain rages in silence… The only audible sound is that of his breaking heart… For a heart without its soul can produce only a throbbing pain, its reminder: it is a heart apart… I Love you Baby. I miss you… L”

“You know, sometimes, when I feel utterly alone, I close my eyes and think the most pure, honest and true thoughts that I can muster… Every memory that I have with you, every second I’ve spent with you, every syllable that has ever graced your lips, everything that we are… It makes the loneliness fade until all that is left is you and me… Because that is all that matters to me… Just you and me”

“Good morning my Love… Today is the day! But for what, you might ask… Today is the day in whose morning you rose, in whose sunlight you will dance, in whose winds you will sing, on whose ground you will pray, and in whose night you will dream… But most importantly, today is another day that I will Love you, passionately, without regard to limits or conditions… Wholly and fully, with all my heart…”

What do I want?

“I have you… What more could I ever ask for? The things that I want are not so very far removed from the things that you want… I want to be yours forever… And I will be… I pray that I can one day be an awesome father to the children I hope to have with you… I wish for a family of my own… of our own… I want to stay up Christmas nights playing St. Nick. I want to be the man that makes you happy for all time… I want to make you feel like the most Beautiful person in the world… I want to take care or you when you are sick… I want to sit in front of our fireplace on cold winter nights, wrapped up in each other… I want to stare at a million sunsets, night skies, and sunrises with you… I want to travel the world with you… Just you, me, a tent, my car, and our camping equipment. I want to go to country music concerts in matching outfits… I want to sit/stand/worship by your side every Sunday knowing how my God has blessed me… with you… I want to try to control our kids [at mass]… I want them to walk up to the alter with an offering, to see the [father] smile graciously at them as I turn to look at you and smile proudly… I want a million more things for us, but all that I really want, the only thing that I need to be happy… is you… I want to face eternity by your side… I want to be everything that you ever want and need… I want to be your best friend forever… and I never want your passion to fade… I love you so much Baby… Hope I wasn’t too honest. My fear”

“How do you always know the things that I… You are so amazing… I think about it often… And I promised, even swore to myself that I would take care of you no matter what… That I would succeed… That we wouldn’t have to worry about the next paycheck… ever… You have no idea how much your words mean to me! I Love you… I am yours Forever… Hopelessly, irrevocably, unconditionally devoted to you… Only you… Eternally you… I Love you so much…”

“It’s times like these, when I see and hear you cry, when I can feel your tears fall like boulders on my heart, when I can feel every beat of your heart as it pulses with the pain of betrayal… It’s times like this that push me even harder to be the best of everything that you’ve ever had… The best friend, the strongest shoulder, the quickest hand to haul you up before you fall down, the safest place, your very own shelter from the tempest that Life can be… The best man… The best Love… I Love you Miranda… More than Life itself… You know, you are my Life… That which makes you feel anything less than total and complete happiness is a thing that I feel to be an attack on my person… My Life’s great goal is to make you completely and utterly happy… I Love you… You know this already, but I am going to say it anyway… When it feels like the world and everyone in it has turned its back on you, when friends and shoulders are in short supply, when words aren’t enough, when everything grows cold, when you need me… I am right here… Anxious to be the one to wrap you up in my arms and let the world and its worrisome woes pass is by… I told you that I will fight for us, until the end… That is also the way I feel about seeing you smile, laugh… That’s how I feel about making you happy… You and Me… Forever and always… I Love you”

“Just in case you were wondering, just in case you didn’t know, just in case my actions do not show, just in case, I would like to tell you that you are the most important thing in this world, you are the most Beautiful person that I know… Just in case you didn’t know… I Love you with a Love that is pure, untainted, unbreakable, undeniable, and unconditional… It is a Love that does not Love simply when it is convenient, a Love that does not have an expiration date… It is Love, eternal and infinite in its capacity… At times, it may be all that I have to give… Hopefully you can find solace in the fact that I will never stop giving it, when you need it, and when you don’t… Hopefully… Hopefully now you know, but just in case you don’t, I Love you… Now and forevermore… Forever and Always yours, SamyB… AKA Edward ;-)”

You are all that I want, all that I’ll ever need… You are my life… and of all the things that I find to be thankful for this year, I am most thankful for you… You are My Love… My Life… My Everything… and I am yours… Forever…

I Love you my Sweet, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Perfect Angel... With all of my heart and soul...

SaMir